Hamlet(s)!!!

Ok, I should just admit defeat and rename this "The Shakespeare Movie Review Blog." I hope you admire my dedication, though: my obsession has led me to spend over ten hours in the library watching every film adaptation of Hamlet I could get my nerdy little hands on. It was fantastic. And now, for your reading and viewing pleasure, I will tell you the merits of all five/six of them, and which one or ones you should watch! You're welcome.
ps. I'm really sorry I haven't posted in so long. First I procrastinated, then blogger locked me out for like a week. Sorry. And as long as I'm apologizing, this post is going to be super long. Sorry.
UPDATE: THIS POST WAS REVISED 3/9/12 FOR ACCURACY AFTER REWATCHING THE DAVID TENNANT VERSION WITH FULL APPRECIATION OF HIS GENIUS.


        First, the easiest one to review: the BBC version. As you may know, BBC has made versions of every Shakespeare play ever. I'm guessing they're all pretty boring. This Hamlet is literally a filmed play. On a stage. With no scenery (very little, at least). It's full-length, so over four hours. And it felt like they were reading their lines. Very, very boring. Don't watch it. Directed by Rodney Bennet, starring Derek Jacobi.
Scene of Hamlet's "to be or not to be" soliloquy: the stage. Duh.

       The oldest version I watched was the classic 1948 Laurence Olivier adaptation (directed by and starring him). It has a very distinct style, all tortured and suspenseful. It was cut pretty heavily to only two and a half hours; there's no Rosencrantz/Guildenstern or Fortinbras at all, so it's pretty much a purely psychological interpretation. Sometimes you can tell where it was cut, it's not as seamless as some of the others. Also this was the only version I watched where they changed the language of the play, as far as I noticed. So if you wanted to comment on a hasty plan, you could sound all educated and sophisticated by quoting Hamlet: "that would be scanned." But if you had only watched this version, you would say "that would be thought on" instead, and then your nerd friends would probably laugh at you. Also it's in black and white. I know that bothers some people. And the actress playing Gertrude is 11 years younger than Olivier. It gets pretty oedipal. The acting is very good, but it feels old-fashioned. Olivier is a very intense, emotional Hamlet. Also, Jean Simmons wins the prize for best Ophelia.
Location of Hamlet's soliloquy: on top of a tower, above the crashing waves. I like it. It makes it sort of more urgent.

        Next, the 1990 version, directed by Franco Zeffirelli and starring Mel Gibson, with Alan Bates as Claudius. Mel Gibson fans might like this one, but I personally am not a huge fan of his style; to quote Hamlet, it has a bit of the "out-Herods Herod" feel to it. This version is the only one I watched that is set in the original medieval period (Olivier's could be, but it was more open-ended in terms of setting). It also has more action than any of the others. It's cut to three hours, but you can't really tell. All the cinematography is very well done; the scenery especially is excellent. However, I have a pretty major problem with it. The Olivier version included the oedipal aspects of the play, this one practically focuses on them, to the extent of portraying the scene in Gertrude's bedroom (where Hamlet kills Polonius) as a huge makeout session. It's actually really distracting from what I think are the main themes of the play. No Fortinbras in this one either, and I think the ending was my least favorite.
Scene of Hamlet's soliloquy: a tomb. Meh, cliche.

        Next, Kenneth Branaugh's 1996 version! After watching just two of his Shakespeare adaptations, I'm already kind of a fangirl. First, he wins the prize for most attractive Hamlet. And I really love his acting. This version is completely uncut, making it just over four hours, but I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. It never felt like it was dragging or boring. It helped that there were occasional flashbacks that aren't in Shakespeare's text. For example, the actual murder of old Hamlet was shown (a couple times), and Hamlet's previous relations with Ophelia (which are pretty PG13 level, but if your small child is mature enough to want to sit through four hours of Hamlet, he/she probably knows the facts of life already). This version also wins the prize for best set and best costumes. It's set in Victorian era, and I just love looking at those costumes. And the castle is all full of secret passageways and mirrors and secret mirror-passageways. So perfect. I really love this one, guys. The ending was amazing. It was much more triumphant than any of the others, and perhaps more so than it really merits, but I still liked it a lot. It probably came the closest to making me cry (a good thing). If I'd watched it at night instead of in the middle of the day in a crowded, well-lit library, it probably would have. On a more negative note, the ghost scene is kind of corny. And the music was good, but it needed more of it. Despite that, you should watch this movie. It is a masterpiece.
"To be or not to be" location: in front of a mirror, from behind which Claudius and Polonius are watching. Solid, resounding stamp of approval. That scene made me very happy.

        The most recent Hamlet is a 2010 PBS version by the Royal Shakespeare Company, directed by Greg Doran and starring David Tennant (of Doctor Who fame), and Patrick Stewart as Claudius. This one was also really great, a fantastic modern interpretation. You can watch it for free online here. The acting is very good, as is the set, etc. It was very intense, and had a lot to do with mirrors, especially broken ones. Approve. I really like this movie overall. IT IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD OMIGOSH DAVID TENNANT SO FANTASTIC If you can't find Kenneth Branaugh's, or don't have the patience for a four-hour movie (this one's only three hours) or have a very strong preference for modern clothes, NO MATTER WHAT watch this one. Better yet, watch both of them. You could watch this one right this very second if you wanted! Just click on the link! DO IT NOW. DAVID TENNANT WINS ALL THE PRIZES.
Location of Hamlet's famous soliloquy: just in a regular hall. What makes it special is the lighting on his face.

        Finally is the 2000 version directed by Michael Almereyda and starring Ethan Hawke. I didn't actually watch this one because it was rated R, but since it's a major adaptation I thought I'd mention it anyway. It also has a modern setting, but Hamlet isn't even a prince, he's the son of a CEO. No castles are involved. It sounds like it would be pretty weird. Also, according to the internet, it's terrible. If anyone reading this has seen it, let me know what you thought.
Scene of soliloquy: in a video store. Adds a sort of surreal element.


Aaaaaaaaand the Grand Prize Ultimate Number One Winner is................ The Lion King! Because who needs that emo "tragedy" stuff anyway? DAVID TENNANT BECAUSE TRAGEDY IS BEAUTIFUL.

Transience

It has recently come to my attention that I am a rambler. You, gentle reader, will not be surprised by this, having suffered through my long and boring posts. It is a habit that I, unfortunately, cannot afford to suppress, since it comes in very handy where essays are involved. However, since I am interested in poetry, I must learn when to make use of my gift for gabble, and when to be concise. Hence, an exercise in brevity:


The brief tragic beauty of a flower:
A romantic thought in the minds of dreamers
Who may write lingering elegies to its grace
But only a short while
Before it, too,
withers and dies.